The Church of Nothing Doin'

A late-night conversation with Schrodinger's Cat:

SC: Okay. Help me design a new business card.
A: have it say: this is not a t-shirt
A: just so people are sure
SC: What if someone pins it to their t-shirt?
A: hmm, tricky
A: I hadn't foreseen that possibility
A: that would probably negate the t-shirts existence, causing surprise toplessness

SC: You really ought to consider all possible possibilities.
A: I start by believing nothing is possible
A: then, everything I do is incredible
SC: Well, I expect you'd often find yourself surprised. But how would you motivate yourself to do things?
A: I just sort of wait until they happen, and take it from there.
A: and yeah, everything is a lot more amazing this way
SC: Hrmph. I'm sure there're some problems with your outlook we haven't yet considered.
A: probably...but until I've discovered otherwise, the existence of those problems is impossible
SC: Right, because...oh. Well, that's a little circular and self-fulfilling, but it works!
A: it does, I guess. I just came up with it right now, but I think I could adopt it. and maybe a Cambodian child, if I'm feeling saucy.
SC: Or rich and in need of a quick fix for your Jewish Princess syndrome.
A: hehehehehe
A: or that.

SC: Guilt always leaves you with children.
A: I'm convinced children are actually made of pure guilt.
A: except the ones you adopt from Cambodia
SC: But they still smell of conflic diamonds.
SC: Conflict.
A: that's true... another unimpossibility uncovered
SC: That's too confusing to say. Let's call it a "doctrine."
A: sounds good to me
SC: We'll call it the Church of Nothing Doin'
A: that is an excellent name
A: where do I sign up
SC: I'm pretty smart, you see.
SC: Sign up? You're the founder!
A: oh, yeah

A: I need to think up some mandates
SC: Except that mandates are against doctrine.
SC: ...until they happen.
A: right.
SC: It's gonna take a while to work the kinks out.
A: definitely... we should just assume the kinks aren't possible until we find them
SC: Well, it's good to know everything is finally running smoothly!
A: if possible, I think this conversation needs to be recorded for posterity
A: the founding of the Church of Nothing Doin'
SC: Is that even possible?
A: probably not.
SC: Crap.
SC: I guess it never happened, then.
A: Well, it's worth a shot.
SC: Careful, you're sounding optimistic...and that smacks of possibility.